Tyra Banks washes ashore in North Beach

Mrs. Fatty Banks came to Miami Beach today in her usual fashion– floating ashore. With a crew of photographers assembled to take every angle of her (there must have been 100 photogs there), she rolled her way towards the North Beach Bandshell. After the small children fleed from her greasy hands (as she tried to eat them), there was a sense of security that floated in the air around North Beach. But, like a lazy (analogy deleted due to it's graphic nature), this was but a calm before the storm. The moment craft services arrived with their usual bowls of M&Ms and generic-brand/flavor potato chips (now with 0 grams of trans fat), Tyra bolted like an 18-wheeler running a red light. As the Notorious B.I.T. (T for Tyra) began to pick up momentum, her weight thumped the ground heavily, knocking one of the photographers off one of the garden structures outside the bandshell. The falling photog landed fortunately on her assistant/shiny tent-holding person, which lucking broke her fall. The fallee, though, scraped her arm. Sensing a health concern, the assistant's LifeAlert quickly pierced the air, calling for the Fire Department to respond instantly. By the time the FD arrived, the photo shoot was over (the PD has REALLY bad response time) and the day was done.

And that, kids, is how babies are born.