This is a story of the three little piggies. NOT THE story of The Three Little Pigs. Please - note the lower case title and the -gies after pig. In fact, as soon as the story begins, all upper case letters will be dismissed (this is also do to my laziness). Also, there will be no houses of staw, stick or brick; the only structure will be a sushi house. There will also be no wolves with absurd lung capacity; there are villains of a different sort - and villains they really are not, rather women of different nationality with a different view on, well, you will see... This is the story of how little piggies came to be. This story should not to be confused with the well known and beloved fairy tale. This blog, low budget (ok, no budget), does not need any copyright issues.
That being said, let's move on with our not so fairy tale of a story...
ehem, as i was saying, this is the story of the three little piggies. yes, they were very cute although completely unaware of their piggie status, they thought they were cute little "peoples". the first little "people" was from orlando, the second from the antilles, the third was from miami beach. the one from orlando was quiet but didn't always think things through, the one from antilles was smart but confused after the big trip, the one from miami beach was very bad with directions and had gotten very very lost on her way to find the other two "peoples" (something about confusing us1 and a1a) and she was a "little" clumsy. these three little "peoples" were laying down in a bed of feathers, watching a tv show about solving crimes and decided they were very very hungry.
"sushi," the third little "peoples" cried!
"aha!" cried little "peoples" one and two.
and so the adventure began. off to find the sushi house. did i mention these "peoples" were in a land called deerfield beach in the country of florida and none new the area well? yes. so they called out to the heavens, or 411, and requested of a sushi house, and then called back to the heavens, or dialed the number for the sushi house, and requested directions. back and forth they searched and wandered, or drove, making illegal turns, because the second little "peoples" had a little trouble, after a few years in the antilles, navigating the trans-am.
finally locating the location of their desires the three little "peoples" rush in eagerly awaiting a glorious meal.
"diet coke!" cries the first little "peoples."
"me too!" cries the second little "peoples."
"mmmm jasamine tea," says the third little "peoples," because you see, the third little "peoples" is on a yoga and mediation kick and thinks this will bring her closer to whatever it is she is trying to get closer to.
"dumplings!" cries the first little "peoples."
"edemame!" cries the second little "peoples."
"salmon sashimi!" cries the third little "peoples." remember, this little "peoples" has interesting tastes.
"pad thai, spider roll, mexican roll, beauty and the beast roll, hot and sour soup, another mexican roll..." the three little "peoples" eyes are wide as they call out order after order. by this time, the first little "peoples" has already burned his little mouth, or shall i say snout now, on a whole dumpling, the third little "peoples" hands have began to turn into little piggies hooves and she has poured hot jasmine tea all over her poor little piggies hands. the three jovial friends laugh so hard at their own silliness it is hard to tell if they are truely laughing or if they are, in all actuallity, snorting...
the waitress, eager for the little "peoples" (they are still, after all, under the impression they are little "peoples") to continue their gluttonous feast, runs forth with the promise of dessert.
"tempora ice cream!" the little "peoples" shout together, laughing and swaying in the joviality of the evening.
"ahh, fried banana," smiles the waitress coyly.
"no, no," smiles the third little "peoples", "fried ice-cream."
"yes, fried banana too." the waitress licks her chops. it is not the taste of little piggies she likes, she prefers greener food.
"does that come with fried ice cream," quips one of the other "peoples".
"ice-cream tempora, fried banana." with that the waitress walks away.
confused the third little "peoples" turns to a table behind them. it is a table inhabited by real people.
"did we order fried ice-cream or fried bananas," she politely inquires.
"i think you got both," responds the person.
giggiling the little "peoples" thanks the person, turning back to her friends, and the three break out into laughter at how much more would be arriving. they are no longer hungry but the idea of so much food seems humorous the them now. suddenly they hear "what little piggies!" the woman has called them out. they really are little piggies. more laughter erupts as they are not insulted, they are completely humored by this realization and embrace it as only little piggies can.
"we are little piggies," cries the second little piggie.
the third little piggie laughed so hard she snorts. it must be true! the third little piggie proves it so by hogging all of the ice cream. the waitress again confirms the assesment of the neighbor people by crying out:
"you eat a llloootttt, thats good!" her eyes gleaming at all of the green coming her way.
the little piggies laughed and smiled as they crawled back to the trans-am.
"i wonder what is in the fridge at home," wondered the first little piggie.
