A Day Late But...

Happy Tofurkey Day all!!

English Major is Top Shelf

BTW Top Shelf is the new "Special" which is the PC term for Retard. Just FYI.

So in the previous post I noticed I wrote "serpated" instead of separated. I usually also spell grammar as grammer.

So that is me, the Top Shelf English Major turned Marketing Coordinator (Aw crud, didn't mean to let that out before part II. Alright, there was your preview).

I could have just gone back and fixed my typos but who cares. My blog. I want the typos. Because this isn't a no nonsense blog. Its a who really gives a shit, no negativity, thing to take my mind OFF of the strict restrictions of life kind of blog.

But feel free to rain your editing demands on me. I probably won't read them. OK, I fib. I will. But I won't do anything about it. Because I am lazy. And top shelf. Just call me Blue Label. Thats the good one right?

Mommy Wow, Im a Big Kid Now Part I

SO, I haven't posted in two months. Failure as a blogger. Good reason? Sorta. Started a real job.
I apologize to the two people who might read this. I also havent really had material. Black is the new Black and I have been serpated and unfortunately don't speak that often anymore due to hectic crazy lives. We will be reunited at Better than Sliced Breads wedding in January so I am sure crazy antics will ensue.

I will write later. I shouldnt be on now as I am at work and its just not the lax atmosphere the city had (although I am jamming out to Billy Joel and watching the clock till I can go home since it is a slow day).

I will write a Part II and let you all in on the craziness that is the new job and try and make it humorous rather than bitchy :) I think I can pull it. I do have some rather funny experiances, I just want to be careful - no need for this blog to fall into the wrong hands!

Just so you know

BEST CANDY EVER!

Beware: Dirty Joke (And I mean Gross)

Whats green and smells like pork?


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Kermit the frogs finger!!! AHAHAHA

Apologies

We said (to ourselves) when we started this blog, we would blog everyday (ok ok, at least every weekday). We haven't done so. The last post was four days ago - I believe that was a Thursday. It was a long weekend, with little sleep and with the two people I've had to share a bed with (ok dirty minds, it was innocent... at least Friday night), tried to attack and abuse me in my sleep (punched, kicked, slapped, etc...). And either people knew they attacked me until I complained in the morning. Sigh.

Anyway, there haven't been posts, I'm sorry. I don't know what to post about right now and its Black's fault there is nothing in here anyway - it's his effing turn to write. I can't be held responsible all the time. You want to read my words? Go to www.rateyourstudents.blogspot.com. Saturday, September 8 post. My work. Enjoy. Until then, Black will just have to get his lazy fingers going, cuz I really can't think of anything entertaining or witty right now. Well, i'll take the witty part out, I don't know if anything ever is that witty - but I can't think of anything worth writing at the moment. Ill put the pressure on the other contributors. I'd call Since Sliced Bread out, but she hasn't even joined yet! Slacker.

I am so excited right now...

Black is kind of retarded. Not as retarded as I am, that is a sure thing. But, I think he doesn't listen to me. Months ago I ran into the office saying "I learned about the BEST artist EVER. Eric Hutchinson. Check him out." I then proceeded to myspace where I played two of my favorite songs: Oh, and OK is Alright With Me. Then a few days later, while cruisin in Red Vulva (my uh, Volvo, you sick dirty bastards), my OTHER favorite "EH" song came on (mix CD, of course): Outside Villanova. (ok hint here people, im giving you very good music!) Black was hooked, siting that I tend to lead him to good music (Pepper was another band I led him to).

HMMM yea, well today I come into the office and Black informs me Perez Hilton has discovered this hot new artist. PEREZ?!?!? no no no. I learned of the wonders of Eric Hutchinson through my cousin "Road to Idol" (holla) and her (hot... ok what?!?! he is) friend's younger brother, "I-Sing-Showtunes-But-Im-Adorable-and-Straight" (note, I prefer not to use real names here out of respect for others). I brought word of EH back to my family and friends. And now PEREZ is getting recognition??



BUT, ya know what?! It doesn't matter. I am thrilled that Perez has acknowledged Eric Hutchinson - because good music needs to be shared. And who cares who told who. Really. The fact is a wonderful thing happened. The word about EH got out, record sales went from "not-on-chart" to "off-the-chart," and eric hutchinson is available on i-tunes. so now, im pulling a perez. im shouting out on my blog (ok ok, our blog, i share this with two wonderful co-workers.. ASSUMING "...Since Sliced Bread" gets her redhead behind on here.

Bottom line, he is amazing (eric, not perez... perez is just funny and silly in a "i-am-from-hialeah-now-i-am-famous" kind of way). Check him out.


OH and I want tim tebows babies... or his clones babies... but that my friends, is for my NEXT post

In honor of the 20th Post - Im retarded

Im actually gonna let "Black" take the reins and tell the story of my morning escapade, since I am sure he can describe the retardedness that is I, Hamsa is my Mantra, much better than I will. I think he can add a little flair of humor to an already hilarious taking. Beside, I am tired of telling it. I do want to explain that my name, Hamsa signifies the idea that I accept who I am with all of my ups and downs, good traits and bad. As popeye would say "I yam who I yam." This means, I fully accept that I am retarded.


Anyway, yes, I have officially taken the cake. Just in case you weren't aware of my oddness from any of my other posts. Oh, I also (while explaining and flailing about in demonstration to another coworker) dumped half my lunch on the floor.
In honor of my own "idiocracy" (this is not a democracy, or cheerocracy, its an idiocracy and I rule all) I brought my coworkers each a can of DC (or diet coke for those not "in-the-know,") that were banged up and deformed. Because you know what, retarded soda cans, like retarded co-workers need love too.

A Fond Farewell

Rest well oh lover of commission meetings. I hope there is a suitable fax machine wherever you may be.

dammit a truce - and a speeding ticket

Fuck man, Black bought me lunch so now I must call a truce on account of the best pizza EVER. As black would say, "Way better than french fries." But still really fattening (guess im the pessimist on this count).


Now onto what I believe was God or whatever supreme being is up there saying SLOW THE FUCK DOWN MANTRA, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. perhaps he wants me to smell the roses, or coffee, or maybe he just doesnt want me to be the cause for vehicular manslaughter, but yea here is what happened.

I wasn't paying attention (no really guys, I wasn't this time) and I got pulled over by a state trooper. Perhaps he was an angel. (I know you are thinking, did you really just call someone who pulled you over an angel? Do we not normally curse them? No, this man was an ANGEL). He asked if I knew how fast I was going - I answered honestly, no, but if I was being pulled over, I am sure I was going too fast and I apologized profusely. He informed me I was going about 32 miles over the speedlimit. (I was doing about 87 in a 55). I dont know how many of you are away but you CAN be arrested, or ordered a mandatory court apparance. Otherwise the ticket is about 350. This man, this NICE UNDERSTANDING TROOPER, instead of taking tired lil me in, believes me that I just wasnt watching, I was just driving, watching the road rather than my speed and DROPS MY TICKET DOWN TO 64 in a 55. For those of you who don't know that is 9 miles over the limit, and the lowest ticket you can get. That means my insurance will not go up, that means I may not have to go to that horrible driving class, that means my ticket is only 85 dollars! This is why I know someone up there is giving me my chance. I didn't get off scott free. But I didn't get punished as badly as I could have. I am definitely one lucky lil girl.